Iowa, Babies, and a Crisis
Sorry it's been a while. My apologies. Forgive me, as I continue to get my together...
So we last left off with me heading to Waterloo, Iowa to visit my auntie and my baby cousins who I've missed so much. The main reason I took this trip was because my auntie (who is more like my sister) just had her fourth child!
Crazy. I know, right.
I didn’t do much except "relax," help out with the other three kiddos and take walks. We were on a time limit and she needed to have the baby before I left! So we walked a lot! Otherwise, I’d have to wait until Christmas to see her! And that is just too long.
I love my baby cousins dearly… (and I will buss somebodies head over them.) But I think I have officially come to the conclusion that I do not want kids.
While there are many reasons I will not get into, I know that I am not alone. I joke often about being an auntie/ God mom and I don’t even know if that will happen (at least not for a LONG while) being that many of my close friends feel the same way. I’ve realized that this is a taboo topic and many people find it un-womanly for women not to want kids. I don’t know why that is such a hard concept to grasp?!
And for those of you who think I’ll change my mind later down the road… Nah I probs wont. I mean there is a slight chance I could change my mind but I’m about 98.9999% sure it won’t.
Anyways, Baby Gabrielle L. Bailey (pics below) entered this world on August 1st, around 6pm. The evening right before I left. I had an early flight, and was able to call and get it pushed back a little—for $75. Smh
My uncle ended up taking me to airport, which was about an hour away, so that gave us plenty of time to talk. We mostly talked about my future, and how I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. Now this all happened recently. I always thought I knew what I wanted to do. But the older I get I realize that is not the case. I’ve also realized that this is a common feeling.
I was able to catch up with several different college friends and we all felt the same. Unhappy with our jobs; jobs that were in our field. We also, all have corporate jobs… Maybe it’s a millennial thing but we all agreed that working 9-5 in an office cannot be the rest of our lives.
My uncle is pretty cool, down to earth. Very easy to talk to. He is successful with four kids and a corporate job. He started off teaching and realized that he wanted more so he went back to school to be an engineer. He now works at John Deer and seems to really like his job. I wish it were that simple. If I were to go back to school, I don’t even know what I would go back for!! While it was nice being able to talk to him, I still left just as clueless with what I want to do.
The conversation continued when I got back home and my dad picked me up from the airport. I expressed to him this new feeling, about being uncertain with my career. He isn’t much of a talker, he’s more of a listener, so he just let me talk away. But if I got anything out of that conversation it was basically…
I only live once so I should to do whatever I want to do—when I figure it out!
This weekend kind of gave my some clarity (so to speak) and my time off was much needed. I do wish I could have spent more time with my family and friends which is limited due to me not working for myself. I am impatiently waiting for the days that I am working for myself can take off whenever the hell I want.